So, for a few months now, it is as if everyone around me is getting pregnant. I have friends who graduated with me get pregnant, one has 3 kids already, and then all of the people I talk to online are just now finding out that they are indeed pregnant too. I am starting to feel left out and jealous... :-/ Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for them. Especially for the ones who have been having TCC issues.I know they have come a long way and deserve it all.
However, this is been a dream of mine ever since I can remember. And I don't think we're anywhere near close to start trying. For one, I have to lose a good bit of weight.... Second, I don't believe Matt is ready yet.... and I'm not pushing a baby on him at all because I don't want him to end up resenting me or the baby.... So I am trying sooooo hard to be patient and wait this out.. I am hoping I can keep myself busy while I'm waiting, such as losing weight.... but that hasn't started yet...
It's just making me really upset that everyone else around me is getting pregnant. I understand they're probably "ready' for it all and everything, and I'm sure I sound really selfish right now... But I really want a baby. I really want to be a mom.
Unfortunately, ..... well, I forgot what I was going to say because I couldn't remember how to spell unfortunately and concentrated so hard on that, that I forgot my though... But it brings me to another point.... I do need to go to a doctor to see if there is anything wrong with me. My family has been saying I do that for a few months now, but I've been putting it off.... Matt says I have all the symptoms of an iron deficiency.... and my mom also had the same problem before she got pregnant with me.... So I might as well get me all fixed up and a-okay before we try to have a baby, to give us an optimum change of getting pregnant sooner after we start trying.
Well, I feel like I've made this depressing enough, and it really didn't alleviate any of my feelings... So I might as well just leave it as it is....
Until next time...
Abbi
No comments:
Post a Comment